Day 1 - The Descent Before the Rave New Year
I somehow wandered down the path of previous blogs and felt compelled to begin again. Begin to write again. Share my world. Express the thoughts that captivate me whether I hold them close or tell the world.
I journal almost daily and am rigorous with my voice recordings (yes, to myself), but I have let this blog space run dry. I don’t necessarily have a reason for why.
Recently, I’ve been really distraught. I’ve been feeling off and operating from low-level stress. Chalk it up to life stressors, my descent into my moon, or just life itself. I’ve noticed similar patterns in previous years when January comes around. January seems to kick everything up for me to look at. In 2021, my relationship of 3 1/2 years ended sending me into the deepest healing journey a few short days after “Day 1”. Last year I glided into 2022 without much of a bang as I started to purge relationships, ways of being, and deep programming around my own self-worth. I’d sat in a life-changing ceremony in October ‘21 that turned my world upside down, somewhat of a dark night of the soul type experience. Anyways, NYE this year was the quietest of them all. I was in bed before 11:30 pm having had an internal evening with Tea, myself, Tarot cards, and a journal. Each year I find myself less interested in the way New Year is typically celebrated. In all honesty, NYE and NYD hold little significance in my reality. It is but a construct of the Gregorian Calendar, which is not rooted in matters that I care for.
Since I can remember my mother has always celebrated the Lunar New Year. She grew up in Singapore and has woven her childhood traditions into our family. As a Human Design practitioner, I also base the new year cycle off of the Rave New Year and the start of Gate 41, which perfectly lines up with the Lunar New Year - January 22nd, 2023. In sharing this, I felt called to do some more research and discover something I have not integrated fully before. A deeper understanding of the Gates leading up to the Rave New Year and thus the energy (electromagnetic “weather”) we all experience. To my surprise, I realize that this pull to reflect and share my world comes in a perfectly timed fashion. As I write, the Sun is about to exit Gate 54 - The Marrying Maiden - The Gate of Drive. This Gate is all about ambition and drive. It’s about looking forward and readying oneself for transformation. And the Earth? Just a couple more hours of Gate 53 - Development - The Gate of Beginnings. As you may have guessed, this energy is about the pressure to begin. So here I am just catching the last moments of new beginnings. A sweet surprise (an obvious delight for this Reflector).
Having this realization feels like being washed clean of some beliefs that were lingering in my psyche. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and fully chosen the way I’ve abandoned the conditioned ways of NYE, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not felt the tug at my heartstrings as I’ve felt the tension of old and new ways in my existence. Sometimes I look at the world and notice how many have no idea what’s possible for themselves. Millions of people just plugged into a system that would much rather them asleep. This is where I will flood with disappointment if I’m not careful…
*Takes a deep breath*
Not the rabbit hole I’m interested to dive into in this moment. Where I was going was about the tension I’ve felt on NYE with the idea of celebrating with those I love in some fanciful way and then the deeper pull of staying inward with myself in reflection. In recent years, the exploration of my inner world has taken the cake. Despite my mind’s best attempts, my being always seems to know better. Once I overcome the tug-of-war between craving and my true desire everything seems to fall seamlessly into place.
It all started with an intentional plant ceremony going into ‘21, and from there each year has had similar requests. This year on NYE, Tea called to me and we sat together in meditation. Tea is a newer friend in my world and we have become increasingly close over these last couple of weeks. This new love affair is beckoning me into a beautiful dance and I’ll be sure to share more musings as they come.
For now, I’ll leave you with a topic that emerged with Tea yesterday and some thought pathways I found myself walking.
Incentives.
I have recently been sitting in my lunar cycle contemplation (Reflector Strategy) around a course I have felt called to and there’s an incentive for signing up early. As a Reflector, I can’t tell you how often I see programs with incentives for early sign-up. It use to really upset me, but with much practice, I have become devoted my lunar cycle process over pressure to leap faster than what is ripe in my system. And it got me thinking about this very common way that is seemingly rooted in capitalism, an enticement to abandon your pace in hopes of receiving more. Sure, there are plenty of reasons why incentives may be important and necessary, but in regard to sharing offerings, I’m certainly pondering how to use incentives purposefully. In what way are they in service of empowering people to listen to themselves or of a conditioning which invites people to abandon themselves?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
